But, dear readers, what if Midge hadn't taken such a wholesome path through life? What if, as MNFF producer and grand dame Missy Moser suggests, she was a scheming, hate-filled, sex-crazed harpy? And also, what if she was in a bizarre relationship with Ken's evil twin? And furthermore, what if she embarked on an evil plot to kill Barbie? All of these previously unasked questions (and more) are answered in Ms. Moser's short play, "What About Midge?", which features this monologue, in which Good Ken fights off his desire for Barbie's ginger-haired bestie.
"Please, let’s keep this professional. I know how alluring I must be to you, being the President, and so robust and masculine, smelling of Old Spice. But I’m a one woman man. You must stay away from me, even though every part of my body is aching to take your long ginger hair, wrap it around my neck, and auto-erotically asphyxiate myself. What have you done to me? You feel so wrong, but so right."DAMN.