Rap Industry Fan Fiction

For years, the colorful characters that make up the world of hip hop have captured the imaginations of people all over the world. And with their tastes for decadence, drugs, and adventure, they are the perfect inspiration for fan fiction. Thankfully, a new website called Rap Industry Fan Fiction has collected tales  which feature your favorite hip hop stars travelling to space, reanimating the dead, and (in the case of Nelly), purchasing Band Aids at their local CVS.

In the words of The Huffington Post, "If you're up to date on your rap culture and like reading funny short fiction, you're in for a very specific treat thanks to this blog."

Here's a quick story about the Wu Tang Clan hosting a movie night:

It was a quiet Friday night on Staten Island. The eight surviving members of Wu-Tang Clan gathered in U-God’s home, as it was his turn to host their weekly movie night. They huddled onto a white leather couch custom built for nine, a cup of Cristal placed in the open doorway to welcome Ol’ Dirty Bastard’s ghost into the home should he pass by. RZA rifled through U-God’s DVD rack, pulling out three cases.

“We can watch Shogun Assassin, 27 Dresses, or Law & Order, Season 6,” he announced with a slight grin. He knew he was the best at choosing the DVDs for the night, almost as good as he was at making beats.

“Yo, that Heigl bitch is fine as fuck, nahmean?” Ghostface exclaimed as he jumped up from the couch enthusiastically. He was actually a rather large fan of romantic comedies, but his strategically placed misogyny helped keep this a well-guarded secret.

“You get to pick every week, Ghost. We’re watching Law & Order. I gotta get my Jerry Orbach on,” GZA calmly stated. He was the Genius, after all; Wu-Tang formed like Voltron, and GZA just happened to be the head.

“It’s MY HOUSE, and we’re watching 27 Dresses. Word is bond,” U-God declared. He had a point, and the others felt that this was a fair compromise. The eight settled into the couch, each with their goblet of mixed liquors and bowl of Brazil nuts to keep their selenium up, and enjoyed the misadventures of Katherine Heigl and her quest for love.

Outside, in the bushes, Cappadonna crouched quietly and peered in the window at his friends. Laughing, high-fiving, they looked like they were having the time of their lives. Don-Don clutched a copy of Wu-Tang Forever tightly in his hands and weeped silently.

“Clan in the front,” he managed to choke out between sobs.

Fan Art Friday: "A Nightmare on Elm Street"

Greetings, fan fic fans, and welcome to our new weekly feature!  Who says that fan fiction has to be limited to a single medium?  Not us!  Fan art is just another way for fans to take ownership of their favorite characters.  Every Friday, we will look at some unique artistic interpretations of a different tv show, movie, book, video game, or comic.

With Halloween fast approaching, what better way to start than with Freddy Kreuger of A Nightmare on Elm Street?  (Click for larger versions)

By 12emmz12, who did it while bored in computer class.

Freddy and Jason vs. Ash, by Cubivore10.

By Bryan Baugh, who specializes in the genre.

By award-winning cartoonist Jorge Gutierrez.

Freddy vs. Hellboy by Nathan Thomas Milliner.

By Andreas Silva.

And if you are hungry for more Nightmare on Elm Street fan art, check out 44 Amazing Works of Art Inspired by Freddy Krueger or this extensive library of Nightmare on Elm Street Fan Art!

What About Midge?

Those who are familiar with the Barbie universe know that her best friend Midge is supposed to be the sensible, domesticated one.  In fact, she was created in the early 60's to balance out Barbie's image as a carefree, jet-setting sex object.  She and her boyfriend, Allan Sherwood, eventually married and had children.  The only controversy Midge was ever involved in was in the early 2000's, when Wal-Mart refused to sell the "pregnant" Midge with a removable magnetic belly and no wedding ring.  Eventually, however, the hooplah died down and Midge settled down with Allan and their three beautiful children.

But, dear readers, what if Midge hadn't taken such a wholesome path through life?  What if, as MNFF producer and grand dame Missy Moser suggests, she was a scheming, hate-filled, sex-crazed harpy?  And also, what if she was in a bizarre relationship with Ken's evil twin?  And furthermore, what if she embarked on an evil plot to kill Barbie?  All of these previously unasked questions (and more) are answered in Ms. Moser's short play, "What About Midge?", which features this monologue, in which Good Ken fights off his desire for Barbie's ginger-haired bestie.

"Please, let’s keep this professional. I know how alluring I must be to you, being the President, and so robust and masculine, smelling of Old Spice. But I’m a one woman man. You must stay away from me, even though every part of my body is aching to take your long ginger hair, wrap it around my neck, and auto-erotically asphyxiate myself. What have you done to me? You feel so wrong, but so right."

DAMN.

Harry Potter and the Glossary of Fan Fic

Most fan fic veterans will tell you that what we now know as modern fan fiction began with Star Trek. The show, its characters, and its mythology created a passionate and detail-oriented fanbase who weren't satisfied with the television episodes, movies, and novels that the franchise spawned. They also, for some reason, really wanted to imagine Kirk and Spock making passionate love to one another.

Since then, the world of fan fiction has spread and diversified beyond the wildest imaginations of the lonely nerds who first uploaded their Enterprise-based erotica onto the newsgroups so many years ago.  And until recently, no one faction has been as passionate about their work as the Star Trek crowd.  Then along came a certain boy wizard named Harry Potter. 

Since the introduction of the Boy Who Lived onto the pop culture scene, Harry Potter fan fiction has become a legitimate phenomenon, at least among the fan fic community (Fanfiction.net lists over 500,000 Harry Potter stories, compared to about 10,000 total based on the various Star Trek series).  Writers all over the world have concocted seemingly every possible scenario for the students and faculty of Hogwarts, and it is, of course, the inspiration for the epic 44-chapter My Immortal.

Recently, the Philipine Daily Enquirer (really?) published a helpful glossary of terms regularly used in Harry Potter fan fiction, and many of these terms and abbreviations can be found throughout the fan fic world.  Check it out - maybe you'll learn a new concept that you can incorporate into your next masterpiece.

Seinfeld Stories

The glory of Seinfeld continues unabated thanks to one amazing Twitter user, who was brought to our attention by frequent MNFF contributor Zack DeZon.  Seinfeld Stories describes itself as "micro-blog fan fiction" - a collection of plot summaries of Seinfeld episodes that never were, and every one of them sounds like they could (or at least should) have been. 

This guy is truly a "master of his domain" when it comes to the show, and the 140 character "shrinkage" of Twitter hasn't limited his "yadda yadda yadda" at all!  "Not that there's anything wrong with that"!  Also, "no soup for you!" 

Here are some examples of his fine work:

Kramer's new obsession with crime novels makes him paranoid Jerry's "up to something". George's girlfriend is a Stockholm Syndrome survivor.

George starts specifying all of his drive-thru orders as "to go." Kramer invests in a shop that sells custom flags.

George is taken off a plane for criticizing a blind man who took the window seat; Elaine is offended by "the girth" of her smoothie straw.

After minor sunburn, Elaine steals her co-worker's aloe vera plant; Jerry's girlfriend dismisses waiters by shooing them away with her hand.

And if you're looking for more Seinfeld fanfic goodness, check out the extended episodes on the Seinfeld Stories Tumblr. It's more satisfying than a sandwich on delicious marble rye!

Marlee and Me

Cast your eyes, if you dare, upon this Marlee Matlin/Owen Wilson mashup written by MNFF producer and professional gadabout Timothy Browne. It is a heartbreaking and highly offensive tale of love, loss, and sexual humiliation that only he could tell.

"LOOK WHAT YOU DID!" Owen screamed at her, though of course, she could not hear his charged words. "LOOK AT WHAT YOU FUCKING DID!" Owen pushed Marlee's face into her own dung again. She sniffed it. Carrots and peas, that's what crossed the silent plain that was her mind. She knew it was wrong. But what could Marlee do? She was deaf. She couldn't control when - or, heavens to Betsy, certainly not where - she would deaf-acate.

Yeesh.